stuff and things

Oh, hi. Yes, it's been awhile. Truthfully, this semester was hell, so I don't know that I would have had the time to blog if I actually tried. Because I would be sitting here staring at a blank computer screen, trying to word things just so, and that would have taken way too much of my precious time... I had a very annoying research class that literally sucked every free moment out of most of my days.

Anyways, I am home for Christmas now. Have been for a week. Already it's kind of getting old (which is so annoying because I was so glad to leave campus). But I'm trying to make the best of it. No classes, homework, papers, studying, tests... This is the life.

Or maybe not. One thing that has been gnawing at me lately is my hearing. Over the past few months, I've had some pretty severe ringing in my ears. In August, when I went in for my annual hearing test, we found out that I've lost a pretty significant chunk of hearing in my right ear. I didn't think too much of it because that was my bad ear anyways, but then I began getting some pretty loud ringing in my left ear. That was when I got really worried. I had a sneaking suspicion that one of my medications was causing it, but I couldn't be sure. So I kept taking it. All the while, the ringing seemed to be getting worse every night.

One night, I went to bed, and couldn't sleep because the ringing was so loud. It felt like someone was standing over me with a radio pressed to my ear at full volume. Every time I thought, This can't possibly get any louder, it did. So at that point I decided to stop taking the medicine I was suspicious of and thought things were on the upswing.

But the ringing didn't stop. And I noticed that I wasn't hearing as well as I have been accustomed to. I thought maybe it would be gradual thing, after I stopped taking the medicine, I couldn't expect the ringing to stop overnight. This was back in early November. Last night, I had another pretty bad episode and then it hit me... I take another medicine right before I go to bed. I googled it and found that it is rarely prescribed to women because 50-80% of women experience tinnitus while taking it. So, great. I've been throwing my hearing away because I'm too dumb to look into these things earlier. (This is all speculation on my part... who knows what is really causing this ringing.)

This whole thing worries me because I already have so little hearing. And I'm going into a profession where it's gonna be pretty important to, um, hear people. And communicate with them. I'm getting a MRI of my ear tomorrow and will probably have another hearing test in the next few weeks. Not looking forward to it. I'm really worried about the state of my hearing. There is a point where hearing aids won't help...I've noticed that I really can't hear at all with my right ear; I definitely feel like even more hearing has been lost since August. I've already broached the subject of a cochlear implant with my mom and am already getting the runaround. I guess I can only wait and see how these tests go. But I think I already know the answer.