summer

Summer. It's a double-edged sword. I love it because I'm free to do whatever, be a lazy bum, and enjoy carefree days. But sometimes it gets old fast. I've been home for just over a week now and I'm practically ready to lose my mind. It almost makes me wish I was taking a class or two this summer. Almost. But at least I'd be doing something productive. Things on the job front aren't looking too hot, either. High schoolers and college kids far and wide have snagged all the good ones; I'm not really sure who is gonna want to hire me for a mere eight weeks before I head off to school again. Not that I really have time to job hunt... Heading to Connecticut and Boston to visit family tomorrow morning, coming back on Sunday night.

But still, I'm excited for this summer. It's three months of possibility. A lot of downtime to accomplish things. Maybe I'll do a scrapbook--six months in Europe definitely deserves that. :)

I'm hoping for other things, too. I went off to Europe feeling a bit robbed of time with a certain somebody. haha if that isn't vague, I don't know what is. But yeah, fingers crossed.

If I want anything to happen though, I gotta change my ways. I always sit back and wait for things to happen. Not really a tried and true method. Most of the time it just amounts to lot of waiting and disappointment. But I don't really know any other way. I've always been quiet, shy, cautious. It's really annoying, because I would give anything to be the opposite: bubbling, adventurous, fearless. When I'm with certain members of my family, I feel so incredibly trapped sometimes--I feel like I have to act like that ten year-old they still see me as, and that reverting from it would be catastrophic.

I also fail at Girl101. My oldest cousin got married this past Saturday, and I was in the wedding. Bridesmaids are expected to hit the dance floor, no? Well, I can't dance. I hate dancing. I look like a tool whilst doing so. So the obvious thing to do was to avoid the dance floor. That didn't work out too well, since everyone was asking me why I wasn't dancing like all the other bridesmaids. I probably should have hit up the bar or something, maybe that would have helped. haha.

Be that as it may, I was definitely glad when the night ended, but I went home disenchanted. I almost wished I could live the day over again and do it differently, break out of my stifling shell, to hell with what everybody thinks...

Well, at least my hair looked awesome. That's a plus.